To Re-Author is to reclaim, to rewrite, to redefine and Narrative Therapy offers the tools to do just that.
Whenever I get asked the question, “Who are you?” a hundred different answers run through my mind.
I am a scholar for those who know the education system,
I am ‘my name’ for those who are holding pens and writing boards,
My parents’ daughter for relatives,
And my brother’s sister for those who know him,
For friends of friends, I am a friend’s friend (yes, friend, 5 times!).
I am a psychologist for my clients,
To my customers, a business owner
and I am a writer for my readers.
Each of these identities forms a narrative, a story I tell about myself, which Narrative Therapy, in turn, helps us examine and reshape. Indeed, even with this whole paragraph of identities that I and others have about me, I can still be another 100 paragraphs’ worth of identities.
The Architect of Your Narrative: How to Re-Author with Therapy
The problem is the problem; the person is not the problem. – M. White & D. Epston
Narrative therapy believes that you are the stories you tell about yourself. Reality is socially constructed, therefore, the interactions we have with people become our reality. Moreover, narratives of our lives, including hardships, achievements, and hopes, form our experiences, and consequently, our live stories.
It lets people create stories, controlling their realities. We tell stories that identify who we are by stitching together different moments in our lives into a cohesive whole. These stories carry the essence of who we are. By the logic of this type of therapy, the narrative you carry about your life is your reality.
Identifying Problem-Saturated Stories: A Key Component of Narrative Therapy
If I carry a story about me as a good cook, I have come to this conclusion by putting together a series of events in my life where I was appreciated for the food I prepared. Indeed, the more snippets of stories I add to this, the easier it is to demonstrate how I am a good cook because “someone once said…”
However, my competence in cooking is fiercely dominated by the idea that I have done exceptionally well in a sequence of events while dismissing the times that I might have done a terrible job because it does not fit into the dominant story- that I am a good cook. Similarly, negative thoughts can fester in your mind and actively convince you that you are what you think.
These are the “problem-saturated stories.”
A problem-saturated story might be someone who believes ‘I’m always going to fail’ after a single setback, or someone who defines themselves as ‘unlovable’ based on past relationship experiences.
Like many others, narrative therapy carries a political and social agenda- to help individuals liberate themselves from their culture dominated problem-saturated stories.
These stories are ‘distorted,’ ‘disempowering,’ and ‘unhelpful’ assumptions that dominate our narratives; sometimes to a point where it might seem unlikely that an alternate story exists.
Externalizing the Problem: The Art of Externalizing in Re-Authoring
The problem story paints the picture of an event or an experience in such a way that it cripples the reality of the storyteller, making it seem like there’s no end to the problem and nothing can be changed.
The narrative therapist will try to flip this situation by showing the narrator that there are visible choices and responses they can make to change the dominant problem story.
Instead of, “Anxiety is trying to control me,” we externalize the anxiety. Hence, you can begin to see it as a separate entity, something you can challenge and manage, rather than an inherent part of yourself.
In other words, therapist helps the narrator tell their story from a different point of view, one that makes them more powerful, bigger and stronger than the problem.
Challenging Dominant Discourses: Re-Author Against Dominant Narratives
Narrative therapy aims to brand the narrator as the expert in their experience through capitalizing on the individual’s story-telling tendencies. The uniqueness of our cultures and societies birth different dominant discourses which can influence our personal narratives and become our realities.
Think you’re incompetent?
Really?
Who told you that?
A single critic?
A constant echo chamber?
Or a past failure you can’t shake?
Now, be honest: would you tell a friend they’re a failure, day after day?
Would you crush their confidence with every task?
Of course not. So why do it to yourself?
Mirror, Mirror: Extending Compassion Inward
As social beings, we navigate an intricate web of unspoken rules, designed to maintain harmony. We crave peace, not just on a global scale, but within our own minds. Whether we seek relaxation after a long day or the satisfaction of reaching a hard-won goal, peace is the underlying pursuit. So, why the stark contrast?
Why do we meticulously avoid criticizing our friends, yet relentlessly berate ourselves?
Keenly aware of their emotional landscapes, we guard against careless negativity. Their feelings are our priority, as we seek to preserve the peace between us.
But then, the pivotal question: if we extend such careful consideration to others, why deny ourselves the same?
Why does the pain we inflict on ourselves carry less weight than the pain we might inflict on another?
How can we claim to love others while neglecting to love ourselves?
If we would never label a friend incompetent, unlovable, or hopeless, why do we subject ourselves to such harsh judgments? Why remain trapped in a self-destructive narrative when we possess the power to rewrite it?
We are the narrators of our lives. Our thoughts and words shape our reality. They do!
You are the narrator of your life story.
Therefore, you are quite literally what you think!
Re-Author Your Life: Finding Meaning and Purpose Through Narrative Therapy
From the perspective of the therapist, these dominant discourses play the most vital role in creating the problem stories which bring people to therapy in the first place.
Unlike most therapies, narrative therapy is focused on the way people construct meaning rather than on the way people behave. The prime detail in therapy is to separate the person from their problem so that the issues are externalized, creating a clear distinction between “an individual with problems” and “a problematic individual.”
Narrative therapy believes that all people have good intentions and don’t need or want problems. Which stands true because who wants to be prematurely bald, constantly burdened, stressed out and on edge?
As the goal of therapy is to separate the person from the problem, once this is done, people are free to create and re-author their own stories.
The therapists seeks to UN-label individuals as “the problem”
There exists a notion in existential psychology that believes in a world with no inherent meaning. (A detailed story for the next blog!) Therefore, if there is no meaning in existence then people can create their own meaning.
There is no absolute truth because people can have multiple interpretations of a single event/experience. Narrative therapy encourages people to create their own stories and negate the “universal or absolute truths” that do not necessarily apply to them.
Finding meaning and purpose in your life that serves you and your truth is the final goal.
You are more than the stories that bind you. If not now, when? If not you, who?
Your story starts now.
Beyond reshaping your narratives, practical steps are essential for a healthy mindset. To learn more about these strategies, consider reading What goes into building a healthy mindset?.
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Good thoughts!!