It’s hard to pinpoint when the ‘Good Vibes Only’ mantra became the unofficial wallpaper of the internet, but you’ve seen it: “Good vibes only!” plastered on Instagram captions, neon signs, and aggressively cheerful coffee mugs. The irony isn’t lost on me. I’m literally wearing a ‘Good Vibes Only‘ t-shirt as I type this.

When “Good Vibes” Aren’t So Great

Just to be clear, optimism isn’t the enemy. Positivity, gratitude, and finding silver linings all have their place in mental well-being. But when positivity is used to dismiss or invalidate real emotions, it can get a bit tricky.

Toxic positivity is the relentless pressure to be a ray of sunshine, even when life’s pelting you with lemons and forgotten the sugar for the lemonade.

It’s sentences like:

“Just stay positive!”

“At least you have a job!” or

“Everything happens for a reason!”

Spotting Toxic Positivity in the Wild

Toxic positivity minimizes real struggles. When you are dealing with stress, grief, or anxiety, forcing a positive spin on everything can make you feel guilty for having emotions in the first place.

You end up thinking “Why can’t I just be happy?” or “Maybe I’m overreacting.” But the truth is, YOU’RE NOT!

Research consistently demonstrates a stark reality: suppressing emotions amplifies them. This forced ‘positivity’ ironically breeds more stress in the long run. So, by forcing “good vibes only,” we’re not creating happiness but bottling up stress that will explode later. (Which will probably happen at the worst time.)

Beyond the mental gymnastics, the physical toll of this forced positivity is just as concerning. There is extensive research that suggests that emotional suppression can lead to increased stress, higher inflammation, and even a weakened immune system. In other words, pretending everything is fine under a gigantic pile of “good vibes” is not good for your mental well-being.

Embracing Your Inner “Meh” (And Other Real Emotions)

You don’t have to be happy all the time to be mentally healthy. Real emotional well-being means allowing the space in your mind and body for all kinds of emotions.

Yes, that means even the uncomfortable ones. Why? Because these are the emotions that tell us when something needs to change, when we need rest, or when we need support.

What It All Boils Down To

There’s nothing wrong with looking on the bright side. But the problem is that toxic positivity can be quite sneaky. “Good vibes only” sounds well-intentioned but it’s not really doing anything good or helpful for you other than telling you to be happy no matter what.

Where as, real support is about being there for yourself and others through the highs and the lows.

Mental health isn’t only positive affirmations. Sometimes it can look like anger, sadness, crying in your parked car. And sometimes, it’s saying, “I’m not okay” without looking at the silver lining.

The goal isn’t to force happiness but to create a little bit of space in your being for all feelings. That means the good, the bad, and even the ones that don’t fit neatly on a coffee mug.

Read more on how to take better care of your mental health here!

The post Is “Good Vibes Only” Actually Bad for You? first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

Somewhere deep inside, I’d internalized this idea that if I chose not to forgive, it somehow made me a bad person. Ungodly. Unkind. Falling short of the “good example” I thought I was supposed to live by. That guilt creeps in when you least expect it. Even when you’re protecting yourself.

The Bigger Person Problem

I mean the people who never take accountability. The ones who leave you with the mess. The ones who expect you to do the emotional labour of forgiveness while they screw up over and over again.

Is forgiveness always the answer?

I used to think forgiveness worked like one of those fake-it-till-you-make-it things; like peace would follow if I just kept pretending I was over it. But it never did.

But Doesn’t Forgiveness Heal You?

But here’s what I’m learning- you don’t have to forget to move on. And you can protect your peace without playing the martyr.

That might look like forgiveness from the outside. But inside, it’s something quieter, more personal. It’s just you choosing to finally let go of what’s too heavy to keep carrying.

Is Forgiveness Even Necessary?

Here’s what I tell clients now, especially the ones who feel stuck on this idea that they have to forgive in order to heal: Don’t force it. Ride it.

Because the truth is, anger isn’t always toxic. Sometimes it’s clarity. Sometimes it’s the only thing keeping you from going back to a place you don’t belong.

But do you have to forgive yourself to move on?

I think… yes. But not in some big, dramatic, ceremonial way. You don’t have to write yourself a letter or shout it from the rooftops. Yes, you can let go of what has been eating your mind without having to be the bigger person or make excuses. You just have to decide you’re done punishing yourself for being human.

If You’re Feeling Forgiveness Fatigue Right Now…

Just know that you’re not a bad person for being tired. You’re not “lesser” for being angry. You’re not failing some invisible moral test because you decided your heart has limits.

You Don’t Have to Do It All Today

Release isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel light and free. Other days, the weight sneaks back in. The goal isn’t to become some perfectly healed, endlessly forgiving, endlessly loving person who never feels hurt or anger again.

The goal is just peace. Whatever that looks like for you. Maybe that’s walking away and saying, “I forgive you, but I’m done.”

The post Forgiveness Fatigue and the Cost of Always Being Kind first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

Doomscrolling can reinforce negative thoughts and a negative mindset, something that can greatly impact your mental health. – Cleveland Clinic

Every Sunday, like clockwork, my phone sends me the dreaded screen time report. And every Sunday, I stare at the numbers in disbelief. “Five hours a day? That can’t be right. I have a life. I do things.”  But do I? Because if my phone says I spent nearly a full workday scrolling through the abyss of social media, then what exactly have I been doing with my existence?

Welcome to the joyless black hole known as doomscrolling– where your thumb keeps scrolling, your anxiety keeps rising, and your sleep schedule keeps suffering.

Doomscrolling has become second nature to many of us. It’s the 21st-century version of staring into the void, except the void stares back with breaking news, Twitter arguments, and Reels that somehow know too much about your childhood trauma.

But why do we do it? And more importantly, how do we stop?

What Even Is Doomscrolling?

Doomscrolling is the habit of endlessly consuming negative news, often on social media or news apps, despite knowing it’s making you feel worse.

It’s like a catching a whiff of something disturbingly potent. You know it’s bad, but instead of walking away, you lean in, sniff again, and then invite everyone around you to confirm just how terrible it is. Before you know it, you’re all inhaling misery like a pack of overly curious sniffer dogs, suffocating in the very thing you should have ignored.

The term gained traction around 2020 when we were all practically glued to our screens, refreshing endlessly for the latest on the pandemic, political chaos, or whatever fresh disaster had decided to trend that day. But even outside of global crises, doomscrolling has cemented itself as a daily ritual for many of us.

Why Are We Addicted to the Scroll? Blame Your Brain!

The answer lies in our brain chemistry. It’s not just a lack of willpower, it’s your brain working exactly as it was designed to because your brain loves information, especially when it thinks that information is critical to your survival.

Back in the day, this instinct kept us alive. For instance, knowing which berries were poisonous or where predators lurked was the difference between life and death. Fast forward to today, and that same wiring has us refreshing news feeds, scanning for threats we can’t outrun, and obsessing over crises we have no control over.

And let’s be real, sometimes scrolling isn’t even about the news. Scrolling is like a coping mechanism.

Uncomfortable social situation? Your phone becomes a shield.

Awkward silence? Time to ‘urgently’ reply to a text that doesn’t exist.

Someone makes eye contact? Oh wow, would you look at that, suddenly I must scroll through my 2017 photos like I’m on a top-secret mission.

It’s the modern-day ‘I’m busy, don’t talk to me’ sign, except, it’s socially acceptable.

The Science of The Scroll: Why We Can’t Look Away

Social media and news feeds are designed to be sticky, meaning they keep us engaged by constantly offering new, unpredictable content. Every scroll is like a scratch card- you don’t know if you’ll uncover a funny meme, a juicy headline, or something totally useless, but the suspense keeps you going.

And that’s where the dopamine trap comes in.

The Dopamine Trap:

Dopamine- the brain’s reward chemical. It fuels behaviours that feel good temporarily, whether it’s gambling, binge-watching, or, you guessed it, doomscrolling. Every new post, headline, or update delivers a quick dopamine hit, trapping us in a cycle of “just one more” until suddenly, an hour (or three) has disappeared.

The Negativity Bias:

Bad news sticks. Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information because evolutionarily speaking, that’s what kept us safe. It’s why we rubberneck at car crashes. We can’t look away from danger. Except now, it’s an endless scroll of worst-case scenarios, and we’re trapped in the front row with no intermission.

The Illusion of Control:

We doomscroll because we think staying informed gives us power over the chaos.

News Flash! It doesn’t.

But our brains don’t get the memo. We convince ourselves that if we read one more article, refresh one more time, or check one more source, maybe we’ll finally make sense of the mess.

We tell ourselves that knowing every detail will prepare us, that awareness equals action.  But in reality, we’re just passively absorbing negativity, tricking ourselves into thinking we’re doing something useful.

(And if part of your doomscrolling is secretly fueled by needing to stay ultra in control 24/7, maybe check out my blog on hyper-independence too. Just saying. :))

Doomscrolling Toll on Mental Health

Scrolling might offer temporary relief, but it comes at a cost. Here’s how it messes with you:

• Increased Anxiety & Stress: Constant exposure to distressing news keeps your nervous system in fight-or-flight mode, making relaxation feel impossible.
• Shortened Attention Span: Do you feel like you can’t focus on anything longer than a 15 second video? Doomscrolling trains your brain to crave constant, bite-sized updates, making deep focus harder.
• Sleep Disruptions: Reading upsetting news before bed? That’s a one-way ticket to a restless night.
• Learned Helplessness: A nonstop flood of bad news can make the world feel hopeless- like nothing we do makes a difference. It’s not exactly the best mindset.

The Social Side Effects

We’re constantly bombarded with bad news, perfectly curated lives, and opinions we never asked for. It’s a lot for one brain to handle. And that overload doesn’t just stay inside our heads, it spills out into how we connect with the people around us.

Conversations interrupted by constant screen-checking are all too common. Have you ever been in a conversation where someone just can’t put their phone down? Annoying, right?

Should you continue? Pause? Pretend you didn’t notice?

That tiny moment speaks volumes. When screens take priority, real-life connections suffer.

How to Stop Doomscrolling Without Going Full Digital Detox

Relax, I’m not saying you need to delete all your social media and disappear into the wilderness. Although, let’s be honest, the thought has crossed most of our minds. But quitting the internet isn’t exactly realistic. Instead, here’s a few tips on how you can regain control:

• Set Boundaries: Use screen time limits or grayscale mode to make scrolling less appealing. (Yes, your phone actually has these features. No, they’re not just for other people.)
• Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that add value whether it’s educational, inspiring, or just really good dog videos.
• Social Accountability: Call out your friends (nicely) if they’re glued to their screens. And, more importantly, let them call you out too.
• Digital Detox Moments: Try phone-free dinners, walks, or even just a “no scrolling in bed” rule. Your brain will thank you.

The Bottom Line

Doomscrolling, like everything in life, comes with the good and the bad. It connects us, entertains us, and sometimes even helps us cope. But if your screen time report keeps making you question your life choices, then maybe it’s time for a change.

While we can’t control what’s happening in the world, we CAN control how much we let it consume us. The world will keep spinning whether we check the news 50 times a day or just once. And unless we’re journalists or policymakers, most of the information we obsess over won’t change our daily lives.

So the next time you catch yourself trapped in an endless scroll, ask yourself: “Is this actually helping me? Or am I just looking for control in a place where it doesn’t exist?”

Yes, you can still scroll a little but don’t forget to look up every once in a while. Some of life’s best moments happen off the screen.

(But, you know, finish reading this first. Then log off.)

The post Doomscrolling: Effects on Mental Health & How to Stop first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

“When relying on others has historically led to hurt or disappointment, we train ourselves to avoid vulnerability altogether.”– Dr. Nicole LePera, on hyper-independence

I’ve always prided myself on being a strong, independent woman- cue the knowing looks and the jokes that come with that phrase. But even with all the eyes that want to pry open my sense of self, I like being self-sufficient and I don’t like asking for help.

There’s something undeniably cool about being that person- self-sufficient, emotionally untouchable, navigating life with the precision of a Swiss Army knife.

The internal monologue goes something like:

Need help? No, thanks.

Feelings? Keep them far, far away.

I don’t know what it is about showing vulnerability that makes me want to instinctively shut down or immediately abort mission. Maybe it’s the fear of being seen as weak, or maybe it’s just the way I’ve wired myself to function. If there’s a way to handle something on my own, you can bet I’ll find it.

But I’m starting to realize slowly and stubbornly that maybe, just maybe, I can’t do everything alone. And, more importantly, I don’t have to.

What is Hyper-Independence?

Hyper-independence goes beyond just being self-sufficient. It’s self-reliance on steroids! It’s the extreme need to handle everything alone, to the point where accepting help feels uncomfortable or even threatening. At it’s core, it’s rooted in the deep-seated belief that you cannot or should not rely on others, no matter what.

Thing is, hyper-independence is often praised as a strength. But what if that relentless “I got this” attitude is actually a defense mechanism in disguise? Many psychologists seem to think so too and there is research that backs this claim.

Numerous studies have linked this trait to trauma, especially when past experiences have taught you that relying on others leads to disappointment, betrayal, or loss of control. For many, it’s not just a personality trait; it is developed as a survival strategy.

If you grew up in an environment where you couldn’t depend on others, you learned to depend on yourself. If trust was broken one too many times, you decided you were better off never giving anyone the chance to let you down again. And if vulnerability ever led to pain, you learned to lock it away completely.

Overtime, emotional neglect can reinforce this “I’ll do it myself” mentality not out of strength, but as a way to shield you from future pain.

The Double-Edged Sword of Doing It All

Hyper-independence feels like strength. And to an extent, it is. There’s something empowering about knowing you can rely on yourself. But when taken to an extreme, it becomes exhausting and isolating.

I’ve had moments where I was drowning in stress, knowing full well that I had people in my life who wanted to help, but I still refused to reach out. Not because they weren’t capable, but because some part of me just couldn’t do it. Maybe you’ve felt that too. The internal voice whispering, “You should be able to handle this,” or worse, “No one else will understand.”

The irony? The very thing meant to protect us (not depending on anyone) often ends up hurting us instead. Humans are wired for connection. Studies show that social bonds reduce stress, improve mental health, and even increase lifespan. So by way of this theory, when we deny ourselves support and push people away, we’re fighting against our own biology. Eventually, we end up alone- not because no one cares, but because we never let them in.

And that’s how hyper-independence turns into a slippery slope towards burnout. Doing everything alone may work for a while, but at a certain point, the weight gets too heavy. And when you don’t have a support system to fall back on, the cracks start to show.

How to Unlearn the ‘I Don’t Need Anyone’ Mentality

So, if you’ve spent years convincing yourself that you don’t need anyone, how do you start letting people in? It won’t happen overnight, but healing starts with small, intentional steps:

• Recognize that needing others doesn’t make you weak. No one was meant to do life alone. Even Batman had Alfred just as Frodo had Sam and Sherlock had Watson.
• Challenge the inner voice. That instinct to refuse help? Pause and ask yourself, “Why am I resisting?” If the answer is fear of being a burden, remember that true relationships thrive on give and take.
• Practice asking for help. You don’t have to spill your deepest emotions right away. Try letting someone assist with a minor task and see what happens. Spoiler alert!! The world won’t end.
• Let yourself be human. Perfectionism and hyper-independence go hand in hand. But guess what? No one has it all figured out, and that’s okay.
• Consider therapy. Hyper-independence often stems from deeper wounds. A good therapist can help you unpack and heal them.

Breaking Free from Hyper-Independence

Being independent is a good thing but being so independent that you shut people out? Not so much. Strength isn’t about carrying the world on your shoulders; it’s about knowing when to share the weight. And accepting help doesn’t mean you’re weak or you’ve failed. It just means you’re human.

So, to all my fellow hyper-independent souls out there, you don’t have to do this alone. You never did.

The post Hyper-Independence: The Price of Always Being Self-Sufficient first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

When it comes to psychology and therapy, there are many misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need. Let’s debunk five of the most common ones:

It’s Just Talk Therapy

One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that it’s just a one-to-one conversation with the patient and therapist sitting across from each other.  Although that’s not how every therapy session goes, you can’t be blamed for only thinking that therapy is all about talking because popular TV shows and movies only show this side of therapy. Except for a few, the therapist is always a glasses-wearing, formally dressed, writing pad holding, excessively nodding person!

There are so many types and forms of therapy in the world. The extensive study of psychology has introduced many pioneers, founders, and developers of different forms of therapy that benefit society in many ways.

Psychologists have always understood that each person is unique and thus needs unique approaches to tackle their problems. 

So, no. Talking is not everything a therapy session is. Depending on what type of therapist you go to, you will have different experiences. Therapists use various techniques, like role-playing and group sessions, to understand client needs.

Misconceptions About Who Needs Therapy: Only for Serious Mental Illness

This age-old stigma has glued on to us like gum on our shoes. It never really goes away. Tiny traces of it always remain.

Anything that gives you solace, lets you feel at peace and maybe takes your mind off of the stress a little bit, if not all, is therapeutic. 

You don’t need to have a raging, life-threatening problem to go to therapy. Not everyone who goes to therapy needs to pop pills to feel better.

People come for struggles with relationships, self-confidence, career choices, self-esteem, motivation, and so many more. 

When repressed, suppressed, and not dealt with, the minor, seemingly insignificant problems and issues are prone to manifesting themselves into more extensive issues and consuming power over you. 

I can’t stress enough the power our mental state holds on our physical life. We think by suppressing such thoughts, we are growing, and we’re not affected by it. But more often than not, this issue comes back and manifests itself in many forms that we don’t even realize why it happens. This is where therapy comes in.

What you think might be a trivial matter could be the biggest struggle for some. So when someone comes to you for help on such issues, be open to lending them a listening ear; that could be all they need. 

You’ll never know unless you deep dive into your own self and uncover the truth. 

Therapists Blame Your Past for Present Problems

Therapists believe in “no shame, no blame.” But one of the most used phrases with misconceptions about psychology is that they blame your past for your problems.

However, the entire repertoire of a therapist consists of “no judgment” no matter what. The job exists so people have a safe place to talk about problems without fearing judgment or shunning.

Contrary to popular belief, not all therapy focuses on the past. Yes, many problems can have their roots in the past, and uncovering the past truth will give you answers. There’s no denying that flipping through your book of life will undoubtedly bear the answers to some of the problems you have now. But sometimes, the answer lies in the now. 

Take Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, for example. Therapists who specialize in this form of therapy focus on the problem at hand. They do not need to know your past to understand your situation now. Focusing on solutions, they say ‘the problem is the problem, not the person.

Misconceptions About Therapy Results: Immediate Improvement After 1-2 Sessions

Misconceptions that therapy is a quick fix, is widespread. But therapy is not a quick fix. Unlike traditional pain killers, therapy does not have a one-stop solution to all your problems. 

They say “good things take time,” and I believe that taking your time to navigate through life, with each step, calculated in a way that benefits you, adds up to make a life for yourself that’s free from unnecessary stress.

A typical therapy session lasts 40-45 minutes, and this can be repeated 2-3 times a week. It will depend on your case and what your therapist deems is beneficial for you. Although, some new forms of contemporary therapy, like Brief therapy, are considerably shorter than traditional therapy. 

With that said, the beauty of therapy lies in the relationship you build with your therapist and vice versa. A healthy relationship takes time and effort from both ends. When this happens through days, weeks and months, it makes the relationship even more important to your mental health.

There is a fundamental importance in the building of a strong client-therapist relationship. Only if the connection is strong will you trust your therapist, be open, and eventually allow you to accept yourself. 

Trusting your therapist is everything in a therapy session. And for this, you need a positive therapeutic relationship.

Therapists Give Clear-Cut Solutions

When we talk about psychology misconceptions, one thing that rings loud is the idea that therapists give you all the answers. But the truth is, you should never go into therapy expecting clear-cut solutions to all your problems. You can, but if you do, you’ll most probably come out of it discouraged or dissatisfied. 

The main goal of therapy is to guide you and give you the necessary tools to navigate your life correctly. Therapists are there to listen to your problems. They try to understand how you feel, and develop coping strategies to help you find your way in life successfully.

In many ways, your therapist is the older adult in the movies, spewing wisdom. Or they can be the person you meet to ask directions when you’re lost, the one that ushers you to your seats in a show. Ultimately, your therapist is the one with the map. 

They first learn where you’re coming from, where you want to go, then give you the directions and the tools you need to get there.

I once heard a saying that goes something along the lines of, “if you give credit to your therapist for feeling better, the job of the therapist is not yet complete. But if you credit yourself for getting where you are, then you have had the opportunity of finding the right therapist for you.”

Don’t let misconceptions hold you back from achieving mental well-being. Discover practical strategies for building a healthy mindset in our article, What goes into building a healthy mindset?

The post Debunking Five Misconceptions About Psychology first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

Whenever I get asked the question, “Who are you?” a hundred different answers run through my mind.

Each of these identities forms a narrative, a story I tell about myself, which Narrative Therapy, in turn, helps us examine and reshape. Indeed, even with this whole paragraph of identities that I and others have about me, I can still be another 100 paragraphs’ worth of identities.

The Architect of Your Narrative: How to Re-Author with Therapy

Narrative therapy believes that you are the stories you tell about yourself. Reality is socially constructed, therefore, the interactions we have with people become our reality. Moreover, narratives of our lives, including hardships, achievements, and hopes, form our experiences, and consequently, our live stories.

It lets people create stories, controlling their realities. We tell stories that identify who we are by stitching together different moments in our lives into a cohesive whole. These stories carry the essence of who we are. By the logic of this type of therapy, the narrative you carry about your life is your reality.

Identifying Problem-Saturated Stories: A Key Component of Narrative Therapy

If I carry a story about me as a good cook, I have come to this conclusion by putting together a series of events in my life where I was appreciated for the food I prepared. Indeed, the more snippets of stories I add to this, the easier it is to demonstrate how I am a good cook because “someone once said…”

However, my competence in cooking is fiercely dominated by the idea that I have done exceptionally well in a sequence of events while dismissing the times that I might have done a terrible job because it does not fit into the dominant story- that I am a good cook. Similarly, negative thoughts can fester in your mind and actively convince you that you are what you think.

Like many others, narrative therapy carries a political and social agenda- to help individuals liberate themselves from their culture dominated problem-saturated stories.

These stories are ‘distorted,’ ‘disempowering,’ and ‘unhelpful’ assumptions that dominate our narratives; sometimes to a point where it might seem unlikely that an alternate story exists.

Externalizing the Problem: The Art of Externalizing in Re-Authoring

The problem story paints the picture of an event or an experience in such a way that it cripples the reality of the storyteller, making it seem like there’s no end to the problem and nothing can be changed.

The narrative therapist will try to flip this situation by showing the narrator that there are visible choices and responses they can make to change the dominant problem story.

Instead of, “Anxiety is trying to control me,” we externalize the anxiety. Hence, you can begin to see it as a separate entity, something you can challenge and manage, rather than an inherent part of yourself.

In other words, therapist helps the narrator tell their story from a different point of view, one that makes them more powerful, bigger and stronger than the problem.

Challenging Dominant Discourses: Re-Author Against Dominant Narratives

Narrative therapy aims to brand the narrator as the expert in their experience through capitalizing on the individual’s story-telling tendencies. The uniqueness of our cultures and societies birth different dominant discourses which can influence our personal narratives and become our realities.

Mirror, Mirror: Extending Compassion Inward

As social beings, we navigate an intricate web of unspoken rules, designed to maintain harmony. We crave peace, not just on a global scale, but within our own minds. Whether we seek relaxation after a long day or the satisfaction of reaching a hard-won goal, peace is the underlying pursuit. So, why the stark contrast?

If we would never label a friend incompetent, unlovable, or hopeless, why do we subject ourselves to such harsh judgments? Why remain trapped in a self-destructive narrative when we possess the power to rewrite it?

We are the narrators of our lives. Our thoughts and words shape our reality. They do!

You are the narrator of your life story.

Therefore, you are quite literally what you think!

Re-Author Your Life: Finding Meaning and Purpose Through Narrative Therapy

From the perspective of the therapist, these dominant discourses play the most vital role in creating the problem stories which bring people to therapy in the first place.

Unlike most therapies, narrative therapy is focused on the way people construct meaning rather than on the way people behave. The prime detail in therapy is to separate the person from their problem so that the issues are externalized, creating a clear distinction between “an individual with problems” and “a problematic individual.”

Narrative therapy believes that all people have good intentions and don’t need or want problems. Which stands true because who wants to be prematurely bald, constantly burdened, stressed out and on edge?

As the goal of therapy is to separate the person from the problem, once this is done, people are free to create and re-author their own stories.

The therapists seeks to UN-label individuals as “the problem”

There exists a notion in existential psychology that believes in a world with no inherent meaning. (A detailed story for the next blog!) Therefore, if there is no meaning in existence then people can create their own meaning.

There is no absolute truth because people can have multiple interpretations of a single event/experience. Narrative therapy encourages people to create their own stories and negate the “universal or absolute truths” that do not necessarily apply to them.

Finding meaning and purpose in your life that serves you and your truth is the final goal.

You are more than the stories that bind you. If not now, when? If not you, who?
Your story starts now.

Beyond reshaping your narratives, practical steps are essential for a healthy mindset. To learn more about these strategies, consider reading What goes into building a healthy mindset?.

The post Re-author your life: Narrative Therapy for Lasting Change first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

Mental well-being is a description of your mental state- emotionally, psychologically and socially. Good mental health means thriving and being productive, not just the absence of illness.

It also means that you are able to cope with all the normal stressors of life and even able to contribute efficiently to society. Mental health and wellbeing is dynamic in nature and can vary from person to person over a period of time.

Fuel Your Body, Fuel Your Mental Well-Being

Our brain is always ‘alive’ and working, taking care of essential internal activities such as breathing and keeping the heart beating. Just like fuel to engine, the brain needs its own fuel that comes from the food that we consume.

Therefore, we are, quite literally, what we eat!

It goes without saying that being in good physical health contributes to better mental well-being. It gives you ample energy to get through the day; even adding exercising and keeping your body active- which has been found to reduce anxiety and depression. Regular exercise can also help you sleep better at night, decreasing the likelihood of developing stress symptoms.

Stress Management: Tame the Chaos

Stressors can come from different sources depending on where, who and what we engage with, in our daily lives. A major contributor to mental health issues is stress, which if gone untreated, carry the risk of developing into complex mental disorders. Stress management techniques vary from person to person because we all experience stress differently and thus, deal with it differently.

A key step in stress management is identifying the source of stress and coping with it using methods like breathing exercises, meditation, relaxation techniques, and exercise. These techniques allow us to be calm in the face of adversity, build resilience and even develop healthy coping strategies.

It is advisable to completely eliminate the source of stress whenever possible, for example, ending an abusive relationship or quitting a job that is causing too much stress.

Setting Goals that Nurture Mental Well-Being

Life goals change as we grow older. We go from wanting to be a superhero as children to aspiring to be an engineer or writer. However, as adults, we often set unattainable goals that lead to fatigue and burnout.

Sometimes, we aim too high without fully understanding our capabilities and feel discouraged when we don’t achieve them. By setting smaller, realistic, and manageable goals based on our abilities, we increase our chances of success and stay motivated.

Break the Monotony and Refresh Your Mental Well-Being

A vacation to an exotic island, a trip around the world, going to a concert, taking your family or friends to a new restaurant, trying out a new look,  even just reading a new book. Changes, small or big, can have a positive impact on your mental health.

A monotonous life can harm the brain, leading to a decline in cognitive functioning. Sometimes it can lead to boredom and loneliness or even depression.

Taking the time to unwind and do something that breaks the monotony will positively impact your mental well-being; like a breath of fresh air, your brain will automatically register new activity and increase performance.

Socializing for Better Mental Well-Being

We, as social animals, are attracted to building relationships and strive for companionship. Support systems hold immense value in the psychology of a person. Surrounding yourself with people you enjoy, those who share your thoughts and experiences, or even those who challenge you, is key to maintaining stable mental health.

You can also practice socializing through altruism by giving yourself to society, such as volunteering at community events. This creates a sense of belonging, which is essential for personal growth, boosting self-esteem, and discovering your identity.

Find an outlet

Some people like to write, some like to paint, some like to make music while others might enjoy pottery, sculpting, and an endless number of hobbies. All these are potential outlets for healthy venting.

Doing whatever makes you feel good about yourself, anything that calms you down when you feel agitated or stressed can be very therapeutic.

Seeking Help for Mental Well-Being

The most important step in taking care of your own mental well-being is knowing when you need help and realizing you need help. It is fair to say that we still suffer from stigmatization when it comes to mental health. 

Some fear asking for help, worried it will make them appear weak, while others deny they need help. We sometimes get so focused on being strong for others that we neglect obvious red flags in our own mental health.

When you accept help, you are already on your way to recovery. We should normalize looking out for ourselves because at the end of the day, if we don’t look out for ourselves, who will?

It is important to note that we are all unique human beings and we all deal with issues differently. There is no hard and fast rule about which way is better than the other- some methods may work for you while others may not.

If the need arises, seek professional help as soon as possible and gradually work towards developing a stronger and better mental health.

While these seven strategies can enhance your mental well-being, understanding the foundation of a healthy mindset is equally important. Explore more in our post on what goes into building a healthy mindset.

The post 7 Ways to Take Care of Your Mental Well-Being first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

We live in an era where the internet has rapidly and dramatically transformed society since its inception. Everything from the way we interact to the way we gain knowledge has been incalculably altered the world online.

In a world where everything is becoming more accessible to us, we face the dilemma of whether this is a blessing or a bane. Countless debates on the subject have born the answer that it helps us gain access to a number of things from the comfort of our homes.

This is quite the conundrum given that this accessibility in the world online can work for or against humanity. For the most part, the outcome of this is dependent on how we make use of the information available to us.

How the Online World is Reshaping Our Lives

A large number of studies have found a strong association between digitalization and poor mental health. The most common problem is, perhaps, cyber-bullying. Anonymity behind a screen lowers inhibitions and can lead to harmful behavior.

The internet can also be home to communities that pose a threat to society. Even the idea of sex has become disproportionately unrealistic through pornography which is easily accessible to anyone.

Content in the world online is often carefully curated to fit certain ideals. Unfortunately, these ideals can be harmful, leading to mental distress and triggering anxiety, social exclusion, and body image issues.

The Double-Edged Sword of Accessibility

Social media stands as a prominent facet of the digital age. It is true that social media has brought the world closer but at the same time, driven us apart. Social media has caused people to draw comparisons between their lives and the lives of the people online. But little do we know that it often only displays what they want people to see. 

How much ever we understand that ‘nobody is perfect,’ this idea is seemingly impossible to grasp due to the content that we see. We strive for perfection based on this which poses a threat to mental health. Such as, having unrealistic goals that can hamper growth and sometimes even lead to depression, body dysmorphia and eating disorders.

Cyberbullying and the Dark Side of the Internet

Social media addiction has emerged out of the advancement of technology. There is so much content being created. Each new one striving to be more different than the other which keeps us ceaselessly interested.

There is also a fear of missing out which is like fuel to social media addiction and drives us to stay connected.

The currency of ‘likes’ and ‘views’ provides the validation that we seek to feel good about ourselves. It sets off a series of chemical reactions in the brain that work like any substance addiction.

The World Online and Its Impact on Young Minds

Most of us check social media daily, making it deeply woven into our lives. Its overuse has an even greater impact on developing children and teenagers, who are more vulnerable to its influence.

It goes without saying that they are more susceptible to the negative impacts of digitization. Thus, mental health care concerning technology should be tailored to their needs.

Navigating Health Care in the Online World

Technology advancement has also shifted our outlook at health care. It is so easy for us to find help online these days. When we experience something unusual or uncomfortable, we often turn to the internet. But this can lead us down a rabbit hole, exaggerating symptoms and leaving us convinced we have a deadly disease with only hours to live!

While many of us are guilty of this, there is also a positive side to having almost everything online and accessible to us. We can choose online counseling through smartphone apps or explore blogs and articles that address a wide range of issues. This is mainly beneficial to those seeking help who wish to remain anonymous. Although there are benefits to practicing self care, in many cases, seeking help in person potentially have a much better success rate.

Building a Healthier Relationship with the World Online

These instances give us the answers as to why mental health is such an important aspect right now. Although the misuse of the world online places a burden on our mental health, there are ways to reduce the negative impacts. Practicing digital hygiene can help form a better, much healthier relationship with technology and foster connectivity to the real world.

Growing evidence linking mental illnesses to digitization highlights the urgent need to prioritize mental health. Having a strong mental health means you are more resilient to adversities that can sometimes be unavoidable. Furthermore, mental health and physical health is strongly correlated so, maintaining a healthy body will contribute to a healthy mindset.

Building a healthy relationship with the online world starts with taking care of your mind. For simple, effective ways to support your mental health, read 7 Ways to Take Care of Your Mental Well-being.

The post The World Online: How Digital Life Impacts Mental Health first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

A healthy mindset lets you focus on the positive aspects in life and helps your mind flourish. It paves a way for your thoughts and feelings to find meaning and purpose in life.

YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE PROFOUNDLY IMPACTS YOUR MINDSET:

Your outlook on life profoundly impacts your mindset. Whether you lean towards optimism or pessimism can determine how you react to life’s challenges. After experiencing a setback, an optimistic person sees an opportunity to learn and grow, brainstorming ways to overcome obstacles. In contrast, a pessimist may view it as a signal to give up.

In life, we all face situations where we have to make difficult decisions. Since mindsets are self-fulfilling, the type of outlook you have on life corresponds to how you act in response to these difficult decisions.

According to Dr. Martin Seligman, how you respond to life events is more important than the event itself. For example, an optimist facing job loss might see it as temporary and external, while a pessimist views it as permanent and personal.

When we have a positive perspective of life, we tend to spend less time dwelling over unpleasant negative aspects. A positive outlook is not the solution to prevent all mental health illnesses but it can reduce the risk of developing them. 

A HEALTHY BODY IS SIGNIFICANTLY RELATED TO A HEALTHY MINDSET:

Is there a problem because of poor diet, or is it the problem that contributes to a poor diet?

The mind and body connect in many ways. A healthy body shapes a healthy mindset. You feel more positive and energetic when you consume a healthy, balanced diet. When you’re sick, you often experience weakness, feel less inclined to socialize, and become a little more pessimistic. Your eating habits can either boost or diminish your sense of well-being.

Studies have shown that diet plays a vital role in development, management and prevention of various illnesses. It is not to say, however, that treatments should be neglected while focusing on diet. Rather, it should go hand in hand, amplifying the success of the treatments. 

Physical activity also boosts mental health. Exercise stimulates brain chemicals that support neuron health. Brain exercises like puzzles or chess help keep the mind sharp. By taking care of your body, you’re actively nurturing your healthy mindset.

THE INFLUENCE OF PEOPLE ON YOUR HEALTHY MINDSET:

The people you surround yourself with can either lift you up or pull you down. Emotions are contagious- spend time with positive, motivated people, and you’re likely to adopt their perspective. Conversely, being around negativity can weigh you down.

What’s more alarming is the fact that negative emotions are even more contagious! We dwell over negativity much longer than we celebrate positive emotions. Losing a small investment might trigger negative emotions for months. Whereas winning a lottery may bring joy for only a few days.

Even when you’re in a crowd of strangers, you tend to feel the same way the crowd does. But you might feel differently if you were alone. That is, unless you are consciously resisting it.

This aligns with the phenomenon of ‘groupthink,’ which occurs when a group reaches a consensus without rationally evaluating the consequences of their decisions.

Happy people make us happy, impatient people make us impatient, angry people make us angry.

Surrounding ourselves with people who emulate positive emotions keep us feeling motivated. The people we interact with the most have the potential to change and influence our thoughts and ideologies. This is why we have to be smart about who we allow into our social circles.

HIGH SELF ESTEEM EQUALS A HEALTHY MINDSET:

Self-esteem is the value that we place on ourselves. Research on self-esteem stresses the importance of self-esteem as crucial to the development of physical and mental health.

Having a high self worth and self image is a part of increasing self esteem. If you have a high self esteem, you will be able to recognize your own good qualities and strive for a better life. Whereas, low self esteem has the capability to fester negative feelings about the self and stop them of achieving a higher self worth.

A number of research points to the evidence that high self esteem has a positive relationship with better mental health. Alternately, low self esteem is associated with depression, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, violence and substance abuse. 

Building self-esteem starts by learning to love ourselves. When we do so, we will automatically strive for a better life and look for ways to do what is best for us. This leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

It’s easy to put into words but the very act of self love isn’t the easiest thing to do for many of us. It is difficult to change the already formed deep seeded, negative thoughts about ourselves.

It takes time and patience to challenge these cynical thoughts and learn to value ourselves and see that we are worthy of love and happiness.

Increasing self esteem requires a lot of work. A healthy body, practicing coping strategies and surrounding yourself with a strong support system is a good way to start this journey. Seeking professional help is also advised when self help is not successful.

HAVING A PURPOSE IN LIFE IS KEY:

‘Those who have a “why” to live, can bear with almost any “how”.’- Nietzsche

Having a sense of purpose is essential to leading a fulfilled life. People with a strong sense of purpose in life tend to do better on different measures of mental health.

Studies show that people deeply affected by personal experiences often struggle with their emotions. It makes them resort to maladaptive coping strategies while lacking purpose in life. This acts as a hindrance to them becoming a fully functioning person.

For Carl Rogers, a fully functioning person is the ideal personality where the person ‘experiences freedom of choice and action, is creative and exhibits the qualities of existential living.’

According to Maslow’s theory of the hierarchy of needs, each person strives to achieve self-actualization. This is the highest state of mental wellbeing a person can experience which is achieved by having a purpose. The purpose to reach self-actualization.

Having a purpose in life predicts both good health and longevity. This means that finding meaning in your own experiences builds resilience and motivates productivity. Having a purpose in life is also positively associated with self-image and well-being.

BUILDING YOUR PATH TO A HEALTHY MINDSET

A healthy mindset is not built overnight. From cultivating optimism and embracing good nutrition to surrounding yourself with uplifting people and discovering your purpose, every small step counts.

Remember, it’s a journey of growth and self-discovery. The effort you put into nurturing your mindset today shapes the life you lead tomorrow.

Alongside cultivating a healthy mindset, exploring 7 ways to take care of your mental well-being can provide practical steps to support your overall mental health journey.

The post What goes into building a healthy mindset? Key Elements for Growth first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.