When it comes to psychology and therapy, there are many misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need. Let’s debunk five of the most common ones:

It’s Just Talk Therapy

One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that it’s just a one-to-one conversation with the patient and therapist sitting across from each other.  Although that’s not how every therapy session goes, you can’t be blamed for only thinking that therapy is all about talking because popular TV shows and movies only show this side of therapy. Except for a few, the therapist is always a glasses-wearing, formally dressed, writing pad holding, excessively nodding person!

There are so many types and forms of therapy in the world. The extensive study of psychology has introduced many pioneers, founders, and developers of different forms of therapy that benefit society in many ways.

Psychologists have always understood that each person is unique and thus needs unique approaches to tackle their problems. 

So, no. Talking is not everything a therapy session is. Depending on what type of therapist you go to, you will have different experiences. Therapists use various techniques, like role-playing and group sessions, to understand client needs.

Misconceptions About Who Needs Therapy: Only for Serious Mental Illness

This age-old stigma has glued on to us like gum on our shoes. It never really goes away. Tiny traces of it always remain.

Anything that gives you solace, lets you feel at peace and maybe takes your mind off of the stress a little bit, if not all, is therapeutic. 

You don’t need to have a raging, life-threatening problem to go to therapy. Not everyone who goes to therapy needs to pop pills to feel better.

People come for struggles with relationships, self-confidence, career choices, self-esteem, motivation, and so many more. 

When repressed, suppressed, and not dealt with, the minor, seemingly insignificant problems and issues are prone to manifesting themselves into more extensive issues and consuming power over you. 

I can’t stress enough the power our mental state holds on our physical life. We think by suppressing such thoughts, we are growing, and we’re not affected by it. But more often than not, this issue comes back and manifests itself in many forms that we don’t even realize why it happens. This is where therapy comes in.

What you think might be a trivial matter could be the biggest struggle for some. So when someone comes to you for help on such issues, be open to lending them a listening ear; that could be all they need. 

You’ll never know unless you deep dive into your own self and uncover the truth. 

Therapists Blame Your Past for Present Problems

Therapists believe in “no shame, no blame.” But one of the most used phrases with misconceptions about psychology is that they blame your past for your problems.

However, the entire repertoire of a therapist consists of “no judgment” no matter what. The job exists so people have a safe place to talk about problems without fearing judgment or shunning.

Contrary to popular belief, not all therapy focuses on the past. Yes, many problems can have their roots in the past, and uncovering the past truth will give you answers. There’s no denying that flipping through your book of life will undoubtedly bear the answers to some of the problems you have now. But sometimes, the answer lies in the now. 

Take Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, for example. Therapists who specialize in this form of therapy focus on the problem at hand. They do not need to know your past to understand your situation now. Focusing on solutions, they say ‘the problem is the problem, not the person.

Misconceptions About Therapy Results: Immediate Improvement After 1-2 Sessions

Misconceptions that therapy is a quick fix, is widespread. But therapy is not a quick fix. Unlike traditional pain killers, therapy does not have a one-stop solution to all your problems. 

They say “good things take time,” and I believe that taking your time to navigate through life, with each step, calculated in a way that benefits you, adds up to make a life for yourself that’s free from unnecessary stress.

A typical therapy session lasts 40-45 minutes, and this can be repeated 2-3 times a week. It will depend on your case and what your therapist deems is beneficial for you. Although, some new forms of contemporary therapy, like Brief therapy, are considerably shorter than traditional therapy. 

With that said, the beauty of therapy lies in the relationship you build with your therapist and vice versa. A healthy relationship takes time and effort from both ends. When this happens through days, weeks and months, it makes the relationship even more important to your mental health.

There is a fundamental importance in the building of a strong client-therapist relationship. Only if the connection is strong will you trust your therapist, be open, and eventually allow you to accept yourself. 

Trusting your therapist is everything in a therapy session. And for this, you need a positive therapeutic relationship.

Therapists Give Clear-Cut Solutions

When we talk about psychology misconceptions, one thing that rings loud is the idea that therapists give you all the answers. But the truth is, you should never go into therapy expecting clear-cut solutions to all your problems. You can, but if you do, you’ll most probably come out of it discouraged or dissatisfied. 

The main goal of therapy is to guide you and give you the necessary tools to navigate your life correctly. Therapists are there to listen to your problems. They try to understand how you feel, and develop coping strategies to help you find your way in life successfully.

In many ways, your therapist is the older adult in the movies, spewing wisdom. Or they can be the person you meet to ask directions when you’re lost, the one that ushers you to your seats in a show. Ultimately, your therapist is the one with the map. 

They first learn where you’re coming from, where you want to go, then give you the directions and the tools you need to get there.

I once heard a saying that goes something along the lines of, “if you give credit to your therapist for feeling better, the job of the therapist is not yet complete. But if you credit yourself for getting where you are, then you have had the opportunity of finding the right therapist for you.”

Don’t let misconceptions hold you back from achieving mental well-being. Discover practical strategies for building a healthy mindset in our article, What goes into building a healthy mindset?

The post Debunking Five Misconceptions About Psychology first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

Whenever I get asked the question, “Who are you?” a hundred different answers run through my mind.

Each of these identities forms a narrative, a story I tell about myself, which Narrative Therapy, in turn, helps us examine and reshape. Indeed, even with this whole paragraph of identities that I and others have about me, I can still be another 100 paragraphs’ worth of identities.

The Architect of Your Narrative: How to Re-Author with Therapy

Narrative therapy believes that you are the stories you tell about yourself. Reality is socially constructed, therefore, the interactions we have with people become our reality. Moreover, narratives of our lives, including hardships, achievements, and hopes, form our experiences, and consequently, our live stories.

It lets people create stories, controlling their realities. We tell stories that identify who we are by stitching together different moments in our lives into a cohesive whole. These stories carry the essence of who we are. By the logic of this type of therapy, the narrative you carry about your life is your reality.

Identifying Problem-Saturated Stories: A Key Component of Narrative Therapy

If I carry a story about me as a good cook, I have come to this conclusion by putting together a series of events in my life where I was appreciated for the food I prepared. Indeed, the more snippets of stories I add to this, the easier it is to demonstrate how I am a good cook because “someone once said…”

However, my competence in cooking is fiercely dominated by the idea that I have done exceptionally well in a sequence of events while dismissing the times that I might have done a terrible job because it does not fit into the dominant story- that I am a good cook. Similarly, negative thoughts can fester in your mind and actively convince you that you are what you think.

Like many others, narrative therapy carries a political and social agenda- to help individuals liberate themselves from their culture dominated problem-saturated stories.

These stories are ‘distorted,’ ‘disempowering,’ and ‘unhelpful’ assumptions that dominate our narratives; sometimes to a point where it might seem unlikely that an alternate story exists.

Externalizing the Problem: The Art of Externalizing in Re-Authoring

The problem story paints the picture of an event or an experience in such a way that it cripples the reality of the storyteller, making it seem like there’s no end to the problem and nothing can be changed.

The narrative therapist will try to flip this situation by showing the narrator that there are visible choices and responses they can make to change the dominant problem story.

Instead of, “Anxiety is trying to control me,” we externalize the anxiety. Hence, you can begin to see it as a separate entity, something you can challenge and manage, rather than an inherent part of yourself.

In other words, therapist helps the narrator tell their story from a different point of view, one that makes them more powerful, bigger and stronger than the problem.

Challenging Dominant Discourses: Re-Author Against Dominant Narratives

Narrative therapy aims to brand the narrator as the expert in their experience through capitalizing on the individual’s story-telling tendencies. The uniqueness of our cultures and societies birth different dominant discourses which can influence our personal narratives and become our realities.

Mirror, Mirror: Extending Compassion Inward

As social beings, we navigate an intricate web of unspoken rules, designed to maintain harmony. We crave peace, not just on a global scale, but within our own minds. Whether we seek relaxation after a long day or the satisfaction of reaching a hard-won goal, peace is the underlying pursuit. So, why the stark contrast?

If we would never label a friend incompetent, unlovable, or hopeless, why do we subject ourselves to such harsh judgments? Why remain trapped in a self-destructive narrative when we possess the power to rewrite it?

We are the narrators of our lives. Our thoughts and words shape our reality. They do!

You are the narrator of your life story.

Therefore, you are quite literally what you think!

Re-Author Your Life: Finding Meaning and Purpose Through Narrative Therapy

From the perspective of the therapist, these dominant discourses play the most vital role in creating the problem stories which bring people to therapy in the first place.

Unlike most therapies, narrative therapy is focused on the way people construct meaning rather than on the way people behave. The prime detail in therapy is to separate the person from their problem so that the issues are externalized, creating a clear distinction between “an individual with problems” and “a problematic individual.”

Narrative therapy believes that all people have good intentions and don’t need or want problems. Which stands true because who wants to be prematurely bald, constantly burdened, stressed out and on edge?

As the goal of therapy is to separate the person from the problem, once this is done, people are free to create and re-author their own stories.

The therapists seeks to UN-label individuals as “the problem”

There exists a notion in existential psychology that believes in a world with no inherent meaning. (A detailed story for the next blog!) Therefore, if there is no meaning in existence then people can create their own meaning.

There is no absolute truth because people can have multiple interpretations of a single event/experience. Narrative therapy encourages people to create their own stories and negate the “universal or absolute truths” that do not necessarily apply to them.

Finding meaning and purpose in your life that serves you and your truth is the final goal.

You are more than the stories that bind you. If not now, when? If not you, who?
Your story starts now.

Beyond reshaping your narratives, practical steps are essential for a healthy mindset. To learn more about these strategies, consider reading What goes into building a healthy mindset?.

The post Re-author your life: Narrative Therapy for Lasting Change first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.

A healthy mindset lets you focus on the positive aspects in life and helps your mind flourish. It paves a way for your thoughts and feelings to find meaning and purpose in life.

YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE PROFOUNDLY IMPACTS YOUR MINDSET:

Your outlook on life profoundly impacts your mindset. Whether you lean towards optimism or pessimism can determine how you react to life’s challenges. After experiencing a setback, an optimistic person sees an opportunity to learn and grow, brainstorming ways to overcome obstacles. In contrast, a pessimist may view it as a signal to give up.

In life, we all face situations where we have to make difficult decisions. Since mindsets are self-fulfilling, the type of outlook you have on life corresponds to how you act in response to these difficult decisions.

According to Dr. Martin Seligman, how you respond to life events is more important than the event itself. For example, an optimist facing job loss might see it as temporary and external, while a pessimist views it as permanent and personal.

When we have a positive perspective of life, we tend to spend less time dwelling over unpleasant negative aspects. A positive outlook is not the solution to prevent all mental health illnesses but it can reduce the risk of developing them. 

A HEALTHY BODY IS SIGNIFICANTLY RELATED TO A HEALTHY MINDSET:

Is there a problem because of poor diet, or is it the problem that contributes to a poor diet?

The mind and body connect in many ways. A healthy body shapes a healthy mindset. You feel more positive and energetic when you consume a healthy, balanced diet. When you’re sick, you often experience weakness, feel less inclined to socialize, and become a little more pessimistic. Your eating habits can either boost or diminish your sense of well-being.

Studies have shown that diet plays a vital role in development, management and prevention of various illnesses. It is not to say, however, that treatments should be neglected while focusing on diet. Rather, it should go hand in hand, amplifying the success of the treatments. 

Physical activity also boosts mental health. Exercise stimulates brain chemicals that support neuron health. Brain exercises like puzzles or chess help keep the mind sharp. By taking care of your body, you’re actively nurturing your healthy mindset.

THE INFLUENCE OF PEOPLE ON YOUR HEALTHY MINDSET:

The people you surround yourself with can either lift you up or pull you down. Emotions are contagious- spend time with positive, motivated people, and you’re likely to adopt their perspective. Conversely, being around negativity can weigh you down.

What’s more alarming is the fact that negative emotions are even more contagious! We dwell over negativity much longer than we celebrate positive emotions. Losing a small investment might trigger negative emotions for months. Whereas winning a lottery may bring joy for only a few days.

Even when you’re in a crowd of strangers, you tend to feel the same way the crowd does. But you might feel differently if you were alone. That is, unless you are consciously resisting it.

This aligns with the phenomenon of ‘groupthink,’ which occurs when a group reaches a consensus without rationally evaluating the consequences of their decisions.

Happy people make us happy, impatient people make us impatient, angry people make us angry.

Surrounding ourselves with people who emulate positive emotions keep us feeling motivated. The people we interact with the most have the potential to change and influence our thoughts and ideologies. This is why we have to be smart about who we allow into our social circles.

HIGH SELF ESTEEM EQUALS A HEALTHY MINDSET:

Self-esteem is the value that we place on ourselves. Research on self-esteem stresses the importance of self-esteem as crucial to the development of physical and mental health.

Having a high self worth and self image is a part of increasing self esteem. If you have a high self esteem, you will be able to recognize your own good qualities and strive for a better life. Whereas, low self esteem has the capability to fester negative feelings about the self and stop them of achieving a higher self worth.

A number of research points to the evidence that high self esteem has a positive relationship with better mental health. Alternately, low self esteem is associated with depression, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, violence and substance abuse. 

Building self-esteem starts by learning to love ourselves. When we do so, we will automatically strive for a better life and look for ways to do what is best for us. This leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

It’s easy to put into words but the very act of self love isn’t the easiest thing to do for many of us. It is difficult to change the already formed deep seeded, negative thoughts about ourselves.

It takes time and patience to challenge these cynical thoughts and learn to value ourselves and see that we are worthy of love and happiness.

Increasing self esteem requires a lot of work. A healthy body, practicing coping strategies and surrounding yourself with a strong support system is a good way to start this journey. Seeking professional help is also advised when self help is not successful.

HAVING A PURPOSE IN LIFE IS KEY:

‘Those who have a “why” to live, can bear with almost any “how”.’- Nietzsche

Having a sense of purpose is essential to leading a fulfilled life. People with a strong sense of purpose in life tend to do better on different measures of mental health.

Studies show that people deeply affected by personal experiences often struggle with their emotions. It makes them resort to maladaptive coping strategies while lacking purpose in life. This acts as a hindrance to them becoming a fully functioning person.

For Carl Rogers, a fully functioning person is the ideal personality where the person ‘experiences freedom of choice and action, is creative and exhibits the qualities of existential living.’

According to Maslow’s theory of the hierarchy of needs, each person strives to achieve self-actualization. This is the highest state of mental wellbeing a person can experience which is achieved by having a purpose. The purpose to reach self-actualization.

Having a purpose in life predicts both good health and longevity. This means that finding meaning in your own experiences builds resilience and motivates productivity. Having a purpose in life is also positively associated with self-image and well-being.

BUILDING YOUR PATH TO A HEALTHY MINDSET

A healthy mindset is not built overnight. From cultivating optimism and embracing good nutrition to surrounding yourself with uplifting people and discovering your purpose, every small step counts.

Remember, it’s a journey of growth and self-discovery. The effort you put into nurturing your mindset today shapes the life you lead tomorrow.

Alongside cultivating a healthy mindset, exploring 7 ways to take care of your mental well-being can provide practical steps to support your overall mental health journey.

The post What goes into building a healthy mindset? Key Elements for Growth first appeared on SUNGJEM AIER.